Real thing! (Mel and I)

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I smiled that's my girl. "So how about this weekend I have a opening if you'd like if not then it would have to be in two months." Tony said and I looked at her and said. "It's up to you?" Two months thought was a long time to wait but this coming weekend was soon really soon.

I sighed and put Mia down so I could walk over to her . "Em I think it would be good for us all to go, I think Noah and Alex needs this as much as the rest of us if not more, let's at least ask and see if they want too, your not alone I can help in anyway. Please sweetheart."

"Not today I'm sorry. I'm not really up for a trip to the zoo and I would prefer to wait." I was tired. "You have other things to do anyway, you should focus on that."

I sighed. "Yeah well I already mentioned it in front of the kids so if they all want to go I'm taking them and your welcome to join us." I wasn't about to tell them no now. I walked over to the table and looked at the kids. "So Noah Alex Mia what do you say you want to go to the zoo?" Mia nodded and jumped back into my arms Noah hesitated then said. "I really do but my chair?" I smiled. "It's okay buddy I'll be right there to help you." Noah smiled back and said. "I want to go then!" I looked over at Alex and he got up and ran to em. Not saying a word till he was in her arms. "I wanna go if you go mummy."

I cried hearing him talk but was so angry at Zander for doing this after I said I wasn't up to it. "Oh sweetheart." I squeezed him tightly "how about you go and get dressed and I'll finish cleaning up in here." After he ran off with Mia, I refused to look at Zander, and walked out of the room without a word to him.

I laughed lightly to myself. She was pissed but after we get there and she sees how happy the kids are she will forget about me doing that. I looked at Noah. "Well lets get you ready!" I said happily . I'll be making calls later when they sleep. Today I focus on them all of them including em. After getting ready and loading up the car I smiled to myself again as em wouldn't look at me. I took her hand and squeezed "I know your mad but sweetheart they need Thai so let's focus on that. I mean it got Alex to talk!"

"Don't ever do that again. What you're not understanding is I'm tired and can barely keep my eyes open." I looked away at the kids frustrated. "I know you're trying to help but it's just difficult at the moment." I whispered. "I'm glad he is talking."

I sighed. "I won't do what I did in the kitchen again and how about I push you and Noah in a wheel chair at the zoo that way you can relax or I can see if we can get a golf cart and drive that way Noah does need to feel uncomfortable too." I was trying so hard but feel that it didn't matter with her she was set on being upset.

"Push me?" I rolled my eyes "are you kidding me. Christ, so Lisa got all your sweet funny charm, happy talks and I get this.. I'll push you around instead of letting you rest at home." I bitterly laughed. "Thanks Zander. Maybe I don't want to go anywhere, or do anything because I'm so fed up with everything.. that I'm still grieving the loss of two babies I lost. I don't get time for me to just be."

I groaned. "You need to take time." I said bitterly. She was starting to puss me off. "I'm fucking trying here and I can't seem to win either way with you! So tell me what you want me to do because I need something here!" I was making sure I was keeping my voice down so the kids couldn't hear. "Your not the only one going through all this. I not only lost our twins but my other twins as well so don't give me that bullshit!"

"I know you're pissed. I get it." I shot back. "See that spare room.." I pointed down the hall "enjoy it. Stay away from me. Go to the zoo alone and enjoy it." I walked away, tears streaming down my cheeks.

I groaned frustrated. The kids were already in the car. So I had to make this quick. I went after her grabbing her and turning her to gave me. "No you don't get to push me away anymore than I do you. So stop right now. If you don't want to go that's fine but I'll tell you right now sweetheart I'm going to make all this right again and I'm not sleeping in that damn room so get use to me sleeping right beside you holding you every night! You don't like this house fine fine one you like and we will move! Now I'm taking our kids to the zoo to have a good time because lord knows they deserve it!"

I threw my arms around him and cried in his arms. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just so mad Zander.. I feel like I'm going to loose it. I was happy until she came here and it was like a switch. I wanted to just strangle her." I hated that she could give him children and I couldn't. "Everything hurts. I'm afraid you'll be gone one day and it scares me."

I shook my head. "I'm not going anywhere. What I said last night it's the truth. I want us. I want to have more babies with you in time." I sighed pulling a way a little. "Which kind of reminds me, we ugh didn't use anything last night? I mean I don't want to use anything but I also don't want to hurt you."

"Hurt me? Please, your penis isn't that huge." I rolled my eyes with a growing smile. "I'm on nothing. I should have brought it up but I honestly didn't think about anything else but being with you."

I laughed. "Way to hurt my ego baby, but thats not what I meant by hurting you, I meant if you got pregnant again so soon, I know it's soon and your still hurting." I kissed her nose. "How about we go spend half the day at the zoo with our kids and come home and have movie time like old times sake."

"That sounds nice but I can't promise I won't fall asleep." I half smiled. "And I do want to be pregnant again, but I know you need to be in a better place for that. You'll have to buy condoms."

I groaned. But I love feeling you against me...how about we chance it because I would love to get you pregnant and have you cooking breakfast in your bare feet and my button up shirt." I smirked. "Damn I'm getting hard."

I raised a brow, laughing "too bad the kids are in the car, we could have done something about it."

I shook my head. "Oh we will later sweetheart." I stepped seats and smacked her ass "lets go!" We walked out to the car and I felt better about us.

I rubbed my butt, walking behind him to the car and got in hearing eager children. At the zoo they were fascinated with the animals. I pushed Noah and Mia was sitting on Zanders shoulders. "Good thing she's toilet trained." I giggled a little

I shook my head. "Yeah it's a good thing." After we had lunch we decided to go ahead and head home as everyone was getting tired. Once home I got things ready for a movie and cuddled up with em as the kids watched and sang along with Trolls.

I laid down, my head on Zanders lap as I watched the movie with them "You need to call the doctor and organise for testing to be done."

I sighed "I will when the kids pass out."  I was so worried.  "What if they aren't mine em?"  I was scared shitless I always know they might not be but she has never came out and said so.

"Then you'll make her pay back everything you paid her." I couldn't imagine them not being his. "They're yours. She wouldn't have let you raise them as your own if they weren't."

I sighed. "It's not about the money though it's what those kids might have lost out on and I don't care I will still want to fight for them if they aren't mine biological because they are mine in every way that counts."